Divorce at any age isn't easy. However, being young and going through it alone, would be an isolating experience especially when friends are just beginning their family lives. So where does one go from there?
25-year-old Anis made the difficult (and brave) decision to seek divorce from her husband of 7 years when her overall well-being was no longer in the right place. Having married very early on at just 18 years old, they had gone on to welcome a beautiful baby girl.
People often asked, “Why did you marry so early?”. To which Anis would happily reply, she had met her soulmate. In the beginning, she wholeheartedly believed it.
As the years went by, things started changing. “Although we lived under the same roof, we were no longer aligned or understood each other,” Anis told The Asian Woman.
Although many women face struggle in their marriage, many choose to stay in unhappy marriages. To avoid the stigma of being a divorcee, some turn a blind eye to incompatibilities (or worse, in terrible instances abuse). Some choose to stay married to provide the complete family home of two parents for their children.
However, in an unhappy marriage, tension and conflict is a norm. “We’d argue everyday,” recalls Anis. “It stresses children to see their parents argue everyday,” she reflects.
Growing up in a toxic environment with constant arguments could potentially inflict years of emotional trauma to the child. So Anis chose to divorce in order to provide the childhood she hoped for her child by first being in a healthy mental space herself.
It goes without saying that life after divorce won’t be all sunshine and rainbows. “At first, I was worried and anxious. Would I be able to raise my daughter on my own? Could I juggle it all alone?” Anis expressed her key concerns.
The 25-year-old remarked, “Don't be overwhelmed with sadness for what happened and don't worry about what others might say. They wouldn't know better nor do they know what is going on in your life. Only you would know what you want in your life and how you want to live it.”
Now, Anis shared that she is solely responsible for all of her daughter's expenses including education and babysitting. “There are times when I fall short and struggle but I try my best. As long as my daughter is happy, then we too will be.”
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